Green & Black: Between Winning And Losing – Hope Dies Last

Hello my beloved readership,

the interim to spring is the time when the colors of spring among others green are taking over the darkness of black. As we are standing between winning and losing and see that hope dies last.

Black – Losing…

The hardest conclusion we have to reach is probably to admit that we cannot always win the fights we are fighting. No matter how long we may try. No matter what we have tried. Even if people like us think that we have not tried everything yet. We cannot always get everything we have taken aim for. Some things are going beyond our control and then it is not up to us any longer. We have to accept and live with it. How hard it may be. Sooner or later we will learn to do so. The situations I have been thinking about here are those concerning people. People who used to be a part of our life or people we want to make a part of our life. In the first case they certainly do not want to make-up or keep the relationship going and in the second case they simply do not like us for whatever reason. Not always it is that with all our powers we can get people going. Whether the wounds are going to heal one day? Who knows…

Green – Winning…

Us women know this feeling… why do we keep distant? Why are we pushing people we love away? Because sometimes we need to see how much we mean to them. But not always us women can stay women undecided as we usually are. Once we are done we have to be a man and say that things are done and pull clear lines like this. That does not belong to a silly test then just because we are unsure about things that should be sure anyway. Sometimes people do not see the things (as dramatic) as you are seeing them. Therefore you have to open these people’s eyes. With such a behavior you will not only earn respect but be clearer with yourself.

“The dawn right before sun rises is the darkest.”
– Korean saying.

Green is the Color of Hope

According to a Korean saying “the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest”. My most favorite character in one of my most favorite Animes himself said in one of the episodes: “Green is the color of hope and you are all wearing wonderfully green shirts!”

Hope dies last when the last minute is up, when the last word is spoken but not necessarily when you give up yourself or give up on people or things.
I was about to give up one day telling that I am done completely but this person, I connect these memories with, kept on talking and talking putting efforts and all the power and feelings like I have never seen it that way with her. At least two years, 24 months, 104 weeks… no matter what I did, not matter how much I have invested, no matter what circumstances changed, the feelings did not change. They told me that things will change if we meet at least once. They told me it is going to get better if we meet more often. I was between “keep it up” and “you are never going to become friends”. Perhaps it was good that something happened that made me finally find my end of this and accept that she simply seemingly does not like me.

When we are close to lose something the fear inside us is driving us on. Perhaps this is what happened with her as I told her I am done with her. If she did not give the efforts that she gave, if she was willing to stop, we certainly would have never had the best talk we have had in two years. I would have missed some clearing up and I would have missed the truth about how she feels as I have too much unnecessarily relied on what others said. Within two days we achieved what I have been wishing for at least for two years and half a week later we have spent the best time ever. Suddenly all those little things I let get too much into my heart were nonsense. Meaningless and simply of weak importance. One day the time is going to come when you are going to see who wants to be a part of your life and who not until then do not lose the faith in hope otherwise it is going to catch you up.

Spring-style in black and green: a leather jacket and a skirt