Let Men Be Men: The Groom

Hello my beloved readership,

for you, I got my husband talk about very intimate – private and personal – things and share his thoughts on his own and wedding in general, married life and values from a man’s view with you. In addition to that we provide you tips and tricks from head to toe for a flawless performance and an unforgettable most important day with no regrets.

Fall4Me wedding rule about the groom

While girls – romantic as they are – take aim to get married with a wonderful man and have children with him from an early age men seem to be less playful falling as deeply into fairy tales. Is that so? “Basically I have known very early that I want to have children later on.”, he states adding that this thought has been fixed when being 20 years old and that it should be at least two or three children. So it is not always sex men are thinking about with a woman that attracts them and that having children is neither a duty nor a favor. There is much more about it: “A family means responsibility and a bond for life. This bond is shown especially in a marriage.”
Marriage – the bond for life – is the place where two lovers can trust each other and always stick together. For men like my husband, it is the most important thing.

The groom thoughtful but happy
© 2018 Anna Chojnowska / Fall4Me

“Men certainly want to get married with all sorts of regard.”, if you have the attitude that a marriage is the most important thing however your motives to get married could never be forced. Among financial benefits or religious convictions (which is becoming less in the Western society) “men want to get married because the woman wishes for that a lot. […] I have got married because I knew I have found the woman for the rest of my life and I am ready to build up a common future with her.”
Apart from that “to me, it means extremely much to be married. You feel grown-up and you always know that at home you receive support as well in bad times.”, with such feelings and such a certainty about your marriage the problems that occur in everyday-life which “of course” exist do not play a role any longer in the end. “Because what matters is the love between two married people that should never lose out.”, so even if there is a dispute the married people know what they love about their partner and do not push them away as it is the case in many early relationships.
If men are convinced about getting married, on their own, outer influences play less a role, nevertheless “you are most likely to get engaged if the people you are surrounded by (family and friends) are getting married. The marriage does not only connect two people it also influences the surrounding.”
Last but not least about this topic my husband cannot image a life without marriage any longer “I still remember the time before the marriage and I have always known that something is missing to me.”, a marriage means more duties which strengthens the feeling of being grown-up and probably less freedom and free-time but… “you have never been happy for 100 per cent.”

The groom carrying a bouquet of roses
The groom is traditionally to provide a bouquet of flowers for his wife. © 2018 Fall4Me

After figuring out pretty much the motives and feelings connected to the wedding let us find out more about married life. What makes it special and why it is great. Fathers as Al Bundy is one do not like to come home, some others may come home but set their personal borders with an office at home or a kind of men bunker where entrance is restricted no one can say if the enthusiasm will remain but every day my husband is looking forward to me waiting at home for him as well as our children-to-be. But furthermore there is no need to worry as there is “persistence in life. So you do not have to worry that anything might change because of small matters. […] everything is easier if you are two.” and as a secret recipe my husband recommends that weekends are for quality-time.

“(The) most important thing in a marriage is that you talk to each other”
– Florian Karajan

Concerning the role allocation my husband belong to those kind of men who are pretty much old-fashioned. While he would be working in order to supply me and our family-to-be financially as well as materially I can live up my sense for tidiness and order at home as the glue that holds everything together – what women are mostly famous for. Therefore one highlight in our married life would be for my husband to finish his studies soon and have a real job as engineer with which he could fulfill us more wishes. Nevertheless despite our firm duties we share out the work at home in everyday-life as we plan to when becoming parents. Like this no one would miss out time for him- or rather herself. But “(the) most important thing in a marriage is that you talk to each other in everyday-life and not be mad if things were not done by the other one if you had to do them on your own and do not say anything.”

The groom holding a candle and speaking his marriage-vow
© 2018 Anna Chojnowska / Fall4Me

All of this sounds like my husband has a great ideal to take as an example but with this you are completely mistaken “up to a maximum I would get my bearings by my wife.” Because “only because something is working for someone else it does not have to do for oneself.”, but if he had to choose someone it would have been David and Victoria Beckham, the two of them have been married for the eternity, have children and still love each other even if they permanently are under the spotlight and even if there have not always been primes of life.

Bride and groom unbelievably happy
Happy ever after. © 2018 Fall4Me

Besides from the job the highlight in a married life is the all-time famous birth of the first child. Not only because my husband loves children and cannot wait to have his own ones, this topic is very sensitive to him as he now wishes for it from the deepest bottom of his heart.

Groom and his father on the wedding day
© 2018 Fall4Me

Last but not least my husband has a message to every man who does not want to get married as well as for their girlfriends: “Some men do not want to bind themselves to a woman for the eternity or do not directly live monogamous. These kind of people I would even advise against a marriage until they want to be resident or have indeed found the one. Other people do not get married simply because they are not religious and see a big wedding as a waste of money. I still recommend these kind of people to do it although! A relationship is nothing truly firm and can break as well because of small matters. A marriage is something for life and if you are completely sure that you have a future take this as base and dare to get married. After all a wedding gives a relationship strength and establishes it. Who would like to adopt his own child or recognize fatherhood afterwards!? In addition tax you as well have very good benefits. Personally I earn almost 20 per cent more money (net) thanks to the marriage which very much enriches my family.”

Bride and groom in front of the registry office
© 2018 Fall4Me

Groom’s Outfit in Detail

Bride and groom after their wedding on the altar
© 2018 Fall4Me

Love, Johanna (and Florian)

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