Engaged: Between Papers & A Ring

Hello my beloved readership,

welcome to episode 3 of the Fall4Me Wedding Special. Today I want to talk about the engagement – before going deeper into the wedding itself – and all that belongs to it. Most of you will think that there is not a lot to say. But this very unique promise special for both sides is bearing much more than a ring to show: traditions, preparation and the big surprise of the expected unexpected moment.

Fall4Me wedding rule engagement
Credits: Fall4Me

It is the highlight of the relationship: the step towards wedding – no more empty words but actions with statements. For my parents in particular our engagement (in addition to my husband’s move to Hamburg) was the sign that it is serious between us and will be a bond for the eternity which will not be given back. All with which it has started was our walk to the registry office.

There are two stages that belong the official status of being engaged. On the one hand the couple to get married applies for the wedding in the registry office – on the other hand there is the wedding proposal. The more common and famous way of getting the status engaged.

The Engagement: When Is It Official?

That was the question I have been wondering about: are we actually engaged now? – One month after having gone to the registry office I have been wondering about the state we have been in. After all I did not have a ring to show but what I had was a wedding date noted by public officers. Insofar I had officially been engaged to my husband by the time I had officially applied for the wedding in the registry office with him at the end of March.

“We have stumbled as accidently into our official engagement as we have stumbled into the the new year.”
– Fall4Me

The Wedding-Proposal

The wedding proposal followed approximately one month later. My favorite story to tell in this context is that we have stumbled as accidently into our official engagement as we have stumbled into the the new year. You can read about our accidental civil engagement in the las article about the civil marriage. The wedding proposal itself however had to wait as in March (until the night of Easter) us Russian-Orthodox as well as Armenian-Apostolics are not allowed to celebrate big events due to the Easter-fasting-time – this would be comparable to the Islamic Ramadan time when all Muslim people celebrate their weddings after that time.

Traditions, Traditions, Traditions

Apart from the time it is as well important to us Armenian people that the daughter’s boyfriend asks the parents once again officially if he may marry their daughter – this may of course take place secretly without the daughter knowing.

But there was another catch: it is hard to prepare a wedding proposal for me – so my husband is lucky that he just had to do it once – since I like to have the control and view over everything. Therefore apart from giving her blessing my mother helped my husband to prepare an original unexpected and unique wedding proposal.

My only condition to my back then boyfriend was to propose to me before going to his family the next time. We have been talking a lot about a wedding and proposal and he was mad at me since I outed many great ways to propose such as on the big wheel of a fun fair or at the romantic and beautiful Alster lake et cetera – dear girls, do not repeat my mistake! So after mentioning those not much was being left. But there was something my mother knew that my husband did not know and that was how to propose to me. All I have once heard shortly before being proposed was that it was to take place in the night of Easter in the Church but when my husband came over to drive to church with us I did not see a square-shaped etui in his pockets so I shyly asked him if I may search him (for the ring). He allowed it but I did not find any ring.

I was very excited and reserved during the stay in church – the time was passing and I did not receive any proposal which was why I got mad when we left church in the night, a few hours before my husband leaving for his family and shortly before sleeping: when in the would and where should he propose if not now? Was he going to break the promise and do it after coming back?

We have welcomed Easter by having a late-night-breakfast. I helped my mother with the table and went to wash my hands, after that she wanted me to cut the cake. I cut very slim and small pieces which made every one yell at me to cut bigger ones. My mood was even more down since I felt like they will be mad at me all the time. My mother has put one piece of cake on everyone’s plate – this was when I did not care about the proposal anymore. But as my mouth touched the cake I felt something weird between my teeth. Before realizing what it is my husband went on his knees and proposed to me. Like this he managed on top to make someone like me cry from surprise and overwhealming about the proposal.

Wedding proposal
Red for a red Easter. Credits: Fall4Me

A ring in a cake: what I have been wishing all my unmarried female friends for their birthdays got real for me. I did not expect that since I have baked the cake with my mother from the beginning to the point of putting the cake into the oven.

Pasxa the cake for Easter
In the Russian-Orthodox church it is common to have the Pasxa cake for Easter. Credits: Fall4Me

On Which Side Is the Engagement Ring Worn?

The engagement ring is the way to the heart and is therefore always worn on the left ring finger. Many people say that it is just worn for a few months but you can wear it for a lifetime together with your wedding ring even though the wedding ring receives more importance and attention afterwards.

How Much Should The Engagement Ring Cost?

More important than the costs are the materials of the ring. The engagement ring is not less important than the wedding ring but as it is just interesting for a few months it should not be exaggeratingly expensive as we know it from US-American movies and stories. You can always have a good friend or discount with which the ring is to be bought for less costs but with 200 to 300 € the ring should be:

  • made of gold, silver or platinum
  • contain a real stone
  • a personal engraving

My engagement ring was a complete unique designed by my husband according to my liking: silver, an amethist (my stone of birth as well as containing my favorite color purple), an open shape and the engraving “King & Queen” made by his trusted good friend Annick. Huge thanks to your excellent work!

Emgagement ring
A close look to my engagement ring. Credits: Anna Chojnowska for Fall4Me

Love, Johanna

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